Saturday, December 20, 2014
SUPER FUN FACT #4
The British Military originally coined the slang word "cooties" from kutu, the Polynesian word for pubic lice. Gross, eh?
Friday, November 21, 2014
nasty people. nasty, nasty, nasty
Yeah, how bout you don't stick your hand down your pants and scratch your balls right in front of me, and then proceed to use that same hand to hand me your money???
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
1 per person
Attention people: only 1 person can get fuel from 1 pump at a time. Just because a pump has more than 1 hoses doesn't mean 2 people can get gas from the same pump at the same time.
Saturday, October 4, 2014
OMG, that's like, sooo hot man
Dear customer -
Yeah, okay we get it, you're hot. Really hot. That still doesn't give you the right to walk around with your nose stuck in the air and treat everyone else like they're beneath you. Get over yourself, you put on your skin-tight Under Armor athletic t-shirt that wicks away sweat one armhole at a time, just like everyone else puts on their normal people t-shirts.
Yeah, okay we get it, you're hot. Really hot. That still doesn't give you the right to walk around with your nose stuck in the air and treat everyone else like they're beneath you. Get over yourself, you put on your skin-tight Under Armor athletic t-shirt that wicks away sweat one armhole at a time, just like everyone else puts on their normal people t-shirts.
SUPER FUN FACT #3
Did you ever wonder what the shortest regularly scheduled airline flight is? It takes place between the islands of Westray and Papa Westray in Scotland, a total distance of 1.5 miles. The flight takes a whopping 2 minutes, including taxiing. Cool, eh?
Rude + Stupid = you're in trouble
Probably not a smart idea to come into a gas station and be rude and chauvinistic to a female cashier while paying with a company card, then drive off in your car with the company name printed right across the side in bright letters. You're not only representing yourself, you're representing your company when you drive around in that car, and what do you think your company is going to think about you driving around in their vehicle, using their company card and treating people like dirt? They probably won't like how it reflects on them too much.
Monday, September 29, 2014
Sunday, September 28, 2014
I don't need your 2 cents!
Dear Customer -
It is not my fault that you stopped pumping your gas 2 cents shy of the amount you prepaid! And DO NOT then come back into the store, solely to give me a patronizing lecture on how now the liter count on your gas receipt is "no longer accurate" and how I should tell the owners that their pump dispensed 49.98 instead of 50.00, implying that they were somehow cheating you! Seriously? All of that over 2 lousy cents???
If you were trying to prove a point by being a total ass to me and demanding a 2 cent refund, then you failed, buddy. I could have spoken up you know, argued with you - as I would've had every right to do. I could have defended myself and MY FAMILY'S livelihood by informing you that it is near impossible for the pump to dispense the incorrect amount, due to the fact that the Weights and Measurements department of the GOVERNMENT comes every few months and tests all the pumps to make sure something like that doesn't happen -
But instead I kept my mouth shut, smiled acidly at you, and placed the nickel refund you so kindly requested down on the counter. You're welcome.
Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, and have a GREAT FUCKIN DAY.
It is not my fault that you stopped pumping your gas 2 cents shy of the amount you prepaid! And DO NOT then come back into the store, solely to give me a patronizing lecture on how now the liter count on your gas receipt is "no longer accurate" and how I should tell the owners that their pump dispensed 49.98 instead of 50.00, implying that they were somehow cheating you! Seriously? All of that over 2 lousy cents???
If you were trying to prove a point by being a total ass to me and demanding a 2 cent refund, then you failed, buddy. I could have spoken up you know, argued with you - as I would've had every right to do. I could have defended myself and MY FAMILY'S livelihood by informing you that it is near impossible for the pump to dispense the incorrect amount, due to the fact that the Weights and Measurements department of the GOVERNMENT comes every few months and tests all the pumps to make sure something like that doesn't happen -
But instead I kept my mouth shut, smiled acidly at you, and placed the nickel refund you so kindly requested down on the counter. You're welcome.
Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, and have a GREAT FUCKIN DAY.
Thursday, September 25, 2014
SUPER FUN FACT #deux!
Did you know there are two Abe Lincolns on a pre-2009 American penny? If you doubt, look very closely at the side with the memorial on it . . . . Cool, eh?
Cross Border Shopper
If you are going out of the country to fill up you vehicle you don't have to announce it to me. If is really none of my business why you have no loyalty for your country and choose to support another countries economics.
Monday, September 22, 2014
10 cents
We regret to inform our valued customers that we are unable to let you use your debit/interac card for 10 cents. I think the reasons should be self explanatory.
In case you didn't know, everytime a customer pays by plastic (debit or credit card) we are charged a processing fee for every transaction that goes through our machines.
Saturday, September 20, 2014
SUPER FUN FACT!
Pilgarlick - an Olde English word for someone who is poor or badly dressed, an object of pity and/or contempt. Cool, eh?
Friday, September 19, 2014
We are not "Cheers"
We are not the bar "Cheers". Yes we may know your name, but we don't always need to know why you are having a bad day. It is really none of our business.
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Why are you driving?
If you don't know how to open you gas tank then you should not be driving until you learn how. It is not my fault that you didn't take the time to read your owners manual. Why do you find the need to argue with me? !!!
Well excuse me, Mr. Dick Wad customer!
EXCUSE ME.
Just because I don't snap to attention and play perky-little-kiss-ass to my customers does NOT mean that I'm bad at my job!For your information, I am extremely good at my job, so you can keep your bad attitude to yourself!
Furthermore, as a citizen of the free country we live in, you are entitled to your opinion, but DO NOT go trash talking me to other customers, telling them that I "shouldn't be in customer service" and I show "zero emotion" to my customers. What is wrong with you? I don't care how good you are at "faking a good attitude" at your job, the last time I checked, you and I were NOT the same person!
And I will have you know, that I am perfectly friendly to my other customers. I have never heard a complaint from any of them. So here's some food for thought - if indeed you are capable of thought - maybe if you weren't such a loud-mouth douche bag to me from the moment you walked in the door, I would have been inclined to be nicer towards you?
Just because I don't snap to attention and play perky-little-kiss-ass to my customers does NOT mean that I'm bad at my job!For your information, I am extremely good at my job, so you can keep your bad attitude to yourself!
Furthermore, as a citizen of the free country we live in, you are entitled to your opinion, but DO NOT go trash talking me to other customers, telling them that I "shouldn't be in customer service" and I show "zero emotion" to my customers. What is wrong with you? I don't care how good you are at "faking a good attitude" at your job, the last time I checked, you and I were NOT the same person!
And I will have you know, that I am perfectly friendly to my other customers. I have never heard a complaint from any of them. So here's some food for thought - if indeed you are capable of thought - maybe if you weren't such a loud-mouth douche bag to me from the moment you walked in the door, I would have been inclined to be nicer towards you?
Saturday, September 13, 2014
Have you ever had an ignorant person interrupt you again, and again, and again, and ag. . . .
Me: "And have a nice day, sir!" (man walks off with cigarettes)
Customer: "Hi, where are -"
Me: "Yes, ma'am?"
Customer: Do you have slushies?"
Me: "Right over there." (pointing)
Customer: walks over to slush machines and fails to see the HUGE sign that clearly states you need to get cups and straws at the front counter. Customer walks back over to the counter, where I am finishing helping another person.
Me: "Have a good da -"
Customer: "Where do I get the cups?"
Me: "From me, you have to prepay for them."
Customer: "Huh, well that's stupid." (makes rude face) "Okay I'll get a slushy, a pack of cigarettes, and, uh, a lotto ticket for friday I guess."
Me: "What size?" Customer ignores me. I speak louder. "What size cup do you want?"
Customer: "Oh, well what sizes are there?"
Me: (sighs) "The sizes and prices are right over there on the wall."
Customer: (squints) "Oh, I'll just have a small one, then."
Me: "The smokes, do you want -"
Customer: "Oh, and can you check these lottery tickets?" She thrusts them in my direction. Meanwhile, two other people get in line behind the woman.
Me: "Sure." (fight hard not to roll my eyes) I look down and notice that the tickets aren't signed. "Oh, I need these signed before I can check them."
Customer: (sighs), takes the tickets back and begins to sign the both of them.
Me: "The cigarettes, did you want regular or king size?"
Customer: "What? Uh, regular." she pushes the lotto tickets back to me.
Me: scans tickets. The first one was a dollar winner, the second was a free play. "Okay, so you won a fr -"
Customer: "I'll have a ticket for tonight."
Me: (take a couple deep breaths) "Well, you won a -"
Customer: "One play with the extra, I think. Oh, and a five dollar ticket for tomorrow."
Me: "Okay. You-won-a-free-play. Do-you-want-the-extra-for-a-dollar?" I ask this as nicely as I can. What she obviously doesn't get is that when someone wins a free play, we (the teller) have to print out the free play before anything else. That's just how the machines are set up. So you have to let me know whether you want the extra on it, because I can't make that decision for you. Meanwhile, the other customers behind her are getting a tad impatient.
Customer: "I won a dollar too, right?"
Me: "Yes."
Customer: "Then that will cover the price of the extra, right?" (she asked in a snooty, impatient tone)
Me: "Yes."
Customer: "Okay, then just do that."
Me: printing out tickets. "There you go, I've got one small slushy, one pack of reg. size cigarettes, and eleven dollars in lottery." as I say this I ring it all up on my till. "That'll be $24.79." (just so you know, I can't recall the exact amount, so this number is an educated guess for the sake of the blog)
Customer: pays me. "Where's my free play?"
Me: I point to the ticket she was holding in her right hand.
Customer: "Oh - I thought it would be more than that." She goes over to fill up her slush cup.
I start helping another customer, but see out of the corner of my eye that the woman is glancing around dumbly. I know she's trying to find the straws, and sigh. She STILL can't read the damn sign.
Me: (in the middle of helping a nice young man) " And what flavor of single cigar would you like?"
Young Man: "Uh, what do you have?"
Me: "We have - grape, peach, vani -"
Customer: "Where are the straws?"
Me: (close my eyes for a second before slowly turning around to look at the woman). Without saying anything I simply point to the big box of straws that was sitting on the counter right in front of her. She took a straw and left, while I gave the young man an apologetic look before continuing my recitation of cigar flavors.
Just then there was a voice behind me.
Customer: "Has anyone seen my car keys?"
Customer: "Hi, where are -"
Me: "Yes, ma'am?"
Customer: Do you have slushies?"
Me: "Right over there." (pointing)
Customer: walks over to slush machines and fails to see the HUGE sign that clearly states you need to get cups and straws at the front counter. Customer walks back over to the counter, where I am finishing helping another person.
Me: "Have a good da -"
Customer: "Where do I get the cups?"
Me: "From me, you have to prepay for them."
Customer: "Huh, well that's stupid." (makes rude face) "Okay I'll get a slushy, a pack of cigarettes, and, uh, a lotto ticket for friday I guess."
Me: "What size?" Customer ignores me. I speak louder. "What size cup do you want?"
Customer: "Oh, well what sizes are there?"
Me: (sighs) "The sizes and prices are right over there on the wall."
Customer: (squints) "Oh, I'll just have a small one, then."
Me: "The smokes, do you want -"
Customer: "Oh, and can you check these lottery tickets?" She thrusts them in my direction. Meanwhile, two other people get in line behind the woman.
Me: "Sure." (fight hard not to roll my eyes) I look down and notice that the tickets aren't signed. "Oh, I need these signed before I can check them."
Customer: (sighs), takes the tickets back and begins to sign the both of them.
Me: "The cigarettes, did you want regular or king size?"
Customer: "What? Uh, regular." she pushes the lotto tickets back to me.
Me: scans tickets. The first one was a dollar winner, the second was a free play. "Okay, so you won a fr -"
Customer: "I'll have a ticket for tonight."
Me: (take a couple deep breaths) "Well, you won a -"
Customer: "One play with the extra, I think. Oh, and a five dollar ticket for tomorrow."
Me: "Okay. You-won-a-free-play. Do-you-want-the-extra-for-a-dollar?" I ask this as nicely as I can. What she obviously doesn't get is that when someone wins a free play, we (the teller) have to print out the free play before anything else. That's just how the machines are set up. So you have to let me know whether you want the extra on it, because I can't make that decision for you. Meanwhile, the other customers behind her are getting a tad impatient.
Customer: "I won a dollar too, right?"
Me: "Yes."
Customer: "Then that will cover the price of the extra, right?" (she asked in a snooty, impatient tone)
Me: "Yes."
Customer: "Okay, then just do that."
Me: printing out tickets. "There you go, I've got one small slushy, one pack of reg. size cigarettes, and eleven dollars in lottery." as I say this I ring it all up on my till. "That'll be $24.79." (just so you know, I can't recall the exact amount, so this number is an educated guess for the sake of the blog)
Customer: pays me. "Where's my free play?"
Me: I point to the ticket she was holding in her right hand.
Customer: "Oh - I thought it would be more than that." She goes over to fill up her slush cup.
I start helping another customer, but see out of the corner of my eye that the woman is glancing around dumbly. I know she's trying to find the straws, and sigh. She STILL can't read the damn sign.
Me: (in the middle of helping a nice young man) " And what flavor of single cigar would you like?"
Young Man: "Uh, what do you have?"
Me: "We have - grape, peach, vani -"
Customer: "Where are the straws?"
Me: (close my eyes for a second before slowly turning around to look at the woman). Without saying anything I simply point to the big box of straws that was sitting on the counter right in front of her. She took a straw and left, while I gave the young man an apologetic look before continuing my recitation of cigar flavors.
Just then there was a voice behind me.
Customer: "Has anyone seen my car keys?"
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Come on, they're just doing their job, man!
Dear Customers,
Please don't give my employees a hard time because they won't give you your cigarettes right away. It's our policy to hold cigarettes and/or lottery tickets until the transaction goes through, because we've had things stolen from the counter before. We've also had cases where a customer's card is declined due to insufficient funds or something, and they've already pocketed the merchandise. Try getting those back now. So I don't care if you're a regular customer and "everyone else knows you". Our employees are only doing their job, so unless they know you and trust you really well, don't get all up in their face just because you have to wait ten more seconds for your pack of cigarettes.
Please don't give my employees a hard time because they won't give you your cigarettes right away. It's our policy to hold cigarettes and/or lottery tickets until the transaction goes through, because we've had things stolen from the counter before. We've also had cases where a customer's card is declined due to insufficient funds or something, and they've already pocketed the merchandise. Try getting those back now. So I don't care if you're a regular customer and "everyone else knows you". Our employees are only doing their job, so unless they know you and trust you really well, don't get all up in their face just because you have to wait ten more seconds for your pack of cigarettes.
one word - eww.
PUBLIC STATEMENT -
Gas stations/Corner stores are not licensed to sell Viagra. Yeah, you heard me. Viagra.
Gas stations/Corner stores are not licensed to sell Viagra. Yeah, you heard me. Viagra.
August 20, 2014
Dear Pushy Soccer Mom,
Please don't push in line and tell me how your son is late for soccer after he just spend the last 5 minutes asking me the price of every water we sell. If you are late, try leaving earlier instead of taking it out on me. Why is it my fault you are late?
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
Monday, August 18, 2014
August 18, 2014
Dear Customer,
Please don't snap your fingers at me. I am not a dog and I don't do tricks.
Sunday, August 17, 2014
August 17,2014
Dear Customer,
Please do not use the windshield wiper fluid bucket to through your garbage in it. It is not a garbage can. I thought that was obvious with the squeegee in the bucket!!!!
Please do not use the windshield wiper fluid bucket to through your garbage in it. It is not a garbage can. I thought that was obvious with the squeegee in the bucket!!!!
Saturday, August 16, 2014
August 16, 2014
Dear Customer,
Nobody likes a complainer. I pretty sure I don't have complaint department stamped across my forehead. Please do not complain to me about other customers. I cannot do anything about it and I really don't want to get involved because it is really none of my business.
Friday, August 15, 2014
August 15, 2014 - Not a bleepin restaurant!
Dear Customers,
Contrary to popular belief, the gas station is not an eat-before-you-pay establishment. People have thought this before, that's why the signs are on the microwave and hot water nozzle! We would very much appreciate it if any and all food was PAID for and only then opened and heated up. This is NOT a restaurant! Does it look like a restaurant? Really? Well it's not! So have some respect for our business, and the common decency and logic to PAY for your food before eating it!
Contrary to popular belief, the gas station is not an eat-before-you-pay establishment. People have thought this before, that's why the signs are on the microwave and hot water nozzle! We would very much appreciate it if any and all food was PAID for and only then opened and heated up. This is NOT a restaurant! Does it look like a restaurant? Really? Well it's not! So have some respect for our business, and the common decency and logic to PAY for your food before eating it!
August 15, 2014
Dear Customer,
Please don't start yelling at me when I'm all the way across the store cleaning or something, and telling me what you want. I won't be able to hear anything you're saying, and by the time I have walked up to the front of the store and get behind the counter, I'll have forgotten most of it anyway. It's kind of rude, don't you think?
Please don't start yelling at me when I'm all the way across the store cleaning or something, and telling me what you want. I won't be able to hear anything you're saying, and by the time I have walked up to the front of the store and get behind the counter, I'll have forgotten most of it anyway. It's kind of rude, don't you think?
Monday, August 4, 2014
August 4, 2014
Dear Customer:
If there are customers waiting behind you to get fuel, please pump your fuel first before playing with the dog that is tied up to the railing.
Friday, July 18, 2014
Talking on your cell phone
Contrary to popular belief. The best place to talk on your cell phone for 10 minutes is NOT in front of 2 gas pumps. Especially if you are NOT buying gas. Yeah hmm it kind of discourages the real customers from filling up.
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Lottery Tickets
I don't understand why people have to block the pumps so they can come in and check their lottery tickets. This is rude. When a gas customer wants to get gas they get mad at the person behind the counter because of YOUR IGNORANCE.
I also don't understand why a person uses the self serve checker, checks all their lottery tickets, then comes up to the cash register and asks me to validate the same tickets (all which are losers) all over again. You are not only wasting paper, but you are wasting my time. The machines are linked together , your lottery tickets are not going to instantly become winners by walking 12 feet. They aren't going to magically change.
I also don't understand why a person uses the self serve checker, checks all their lottery tickets, then comes up to the cash register and asks me to validate the same tickets (all which are losers) all over again. You are not only wasting paper, but you are wasting my time. The machines are linked together , your lottery tickets are not going to instantly become winners by walking 12 feet. They aren't going to magically change.
Random thought for the day.
If you are having a bad day, please don't walk into my store and try and start to pick a fight with me. It is not my fault you are running late. Try getting up earlier. Throwing money or keys at my face while I am serving another customer is not going to get you served any faster.
A customer came in and was upset because I didn't have her cigarettes. (Next Blue Regular) Sorry it is not my fault. The manufacturer was out. I cannot not waive my magic wand and make them appear for you princess. Please pick another brand. Just because you are irritated don't pick a fight with me. The customer then asks for Number 7 Blue regular. So I had her Number 7 Blue regular. The package is BLUE. Don't ask me "Are those the BLUE ones? when the package is blue!!!!! The package is BLUE. What kind of stupid question is this? You are asking for it. Don't walk away mad at me because you are asking a stupid question.
A customer came in and was upset because I didn't have her cigarettes. (Next Blue Regular) Sorry it is not my fault. The manufacturer was out. I cannot not waive my magic wand and make them appear for you princess. Please pick another brand. Just because you are irritated don't pick a fight with me. The customer then asks for Number 7 Blue regular. So I had her Number 7 Blue regular. The package is BLUE. Don't ask me "Are those the BLUE ones? when the package is blue!!!!! The package is BLUE. What kind of stupid question is this? You are asking for it. Don't walk away mad at me because you are asking a stupid question.
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